To Ship the Impossible Ship

Have you ever needed two characters to get together? Have you latched onto any and every brief scene they had together? Have you felt the sinking feeling when those characters go off with others you cannot even stand? Basically, have you known the pain of having a non-cannon opt? I have. I seem to have a habit of willing characters to be together who will never be united in love. The writers obviously seek to plague me with unrequited feels. The following five ships are my personal torment. Try not to judge my weirdness too strongly.

1. The Tudors: Charles Brandon and Lady Mary: I thought I’d start with my weirdest ship. Going into this one, I obviously knew they wouldn’t end up together, but even so, that doesn’t stop me from watching inappropriate fanvids of them on These two are actually really sweet together in my head. Their tortured love affair would have had to be kept secret from the king–Brandon having learned his lesson after marrying Henry’s sister–and they would have had to have romantic rendezvouz in the woods and fleeting touches in corridors. Sigh. Of course, you kinda sorta have to ignore the fact that she had his granddaughter executed for the romance of it all to work. Still, wouldn’t Henry Cavill and Sarah Bolger have been beautiful together?

2. Rookie Blue: Peck and Luke: I don’t think anyone else ships this. There are no fanfictions for it online and no videos. I must be alone in thinking that these two tortured souls deserve each other. Okay, confession time. I have this weird obsession with Rookie Blue. It’s really not a great show, but it draws you it. It’s like watching a train wreck unfold. In the last two seasons, the only bright spot I find in watching this show has been my desire for Peck and Luke to get together. Unfortunately, Luke was almost non-existent in last season. I was freaking out at the end, however, when he showed up and was interviewing her in the hospital. There was nothing romantic about it, but all the same, I swooned. The writers, like everyone else, don’t care about these two. I alone will languish over their suitability until the show it cancelled.

3. Arrow: Oliver and Felicity: I just discovered her name two weeks ago, but I have shipped them from the very first. Forget Laurel. Felicity is the one for Ollie. It’s too early to tell if this ship is hopeless, but I have a feeling it will be. My only hope rests on that fact that in Smallville, Ollie ended up with another clever blond. Oh gosh, Felicity is awesome and funny and obviously has eyes for the hunky superhero. I’m hoping that she will be brought in on the secret soon and get to spend more time with him. He’ll have to see her amazingness then, right?

4. Once Upon a Time: Hook and Aurora: I’m sorry. This is more about The Tudors than anything else. Colin played the Phillip Mary didn’t marry in that show. I want them to be together now since they didn’t get their proper chance before. Besides, she need someone to make her forget about her lost love. Hook would definitely do that for her. Sigh, oh gosh, I love Hook so much. I think he could legitimately end up with any female (or maybe male) character on that show. Aurora and he are just my top choice. Maybe he and Belle next. All I know is that I don’t want him to end up with Emma because. . .

5. Once Upon a Time: Emma and Rumpelstiltskin: I have shipped these two from the very, very beginning. Yes, I realize that he is her son’s grandfather. You know what? I don’t really care. They would be great together. I was really hoping in the last episode that this roadtrip would be the perfect opportunity for them to fall in love. Unfortunately, stupid Henry had to come along. I still am holding out hope for them. The only thing that complicates matters is that Emma seems to have a veritable harem of men clambering at her heels. I have no idea what the writers’ endgame is. I can only hope she choses Rumpel and NOT Hook or August or her ex or any of the others.